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The Flipside: Are You An Innie Or An Outie?

He Says:

Introverts hide away in the beautiful privacy of their own minds, extroverts weave the world to their will with an aura of charm, while ambiverts sit firmly on the fence. Our race is built from these three primary traits, with each birthing leaders, rebels and sheep. What are you?

It might be because I’m keen on botany, but I prefer a wallflower any day. We linger on the outskirts of parties with good friends and banter, and take root in the walls to watch the night unfold before us.

My partner on the other hand has more gravity than the sun. From afar I watch the room spiral around her as she tames the night. Her magnetism fries phones and keeps her audience immersed, and she has such a pull that she can uproot me and send me spinning in an alien space; the dancefloor.

Some people say our pairing doesn’t make sense, they say we’re like water and fire. But only a wallflower can see what an extrovert like her does to a room. Nobody has distracted me from my own head like she has. We may be water and fire, but when we mix it gets so steamy that an ambivert might just pop out.

She Says:

If you had asked me six years ago whether I was an introvert or an extrovert, I would have without hesitation proclaimed myself an extrovert. I was super confident, willing and able to speak my mind and reluctant to relinquish a karaoke mike. Now, at the ripe old age of forty-one, I consider myself more of an introvert, and it is an interesting place to find myself. How did I go from being an outie to an innie?

According to experts, introversion and extroversion are only a spectrum, with no one strictly one way or the other. Extroverts gain energy from social situations, whereas introverts recharge by spending time alone. In the middle are ambiverts, who recharge and regain their energy through a mixture of both.

Looking back, I think I have always been an introvert at heart. Team sports were never my thing, my circle of friends has always been small, and without a dose of Dutch courage, I doubt anyone would have heard me belt out Amii Stewart’s ‘Knock On Wood’.

While I once may have facilitated workshops, spoken at professional development days and managed events, I have always liked to work in independent roles. Now that I work mostly from home, my world has shrunk, and so too has my comfort with putting myself out there.

So maybe, rather than sliding along the spectrum, this innie has just come out.


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